The failure of the second ask


Asking the first time might be brave. Asking again (more forcefully) after you get a no is selfish and dumb.

I think it’s the artlessness of it that so offends me.

Someone pitches an idea, tries to make a sale, invites a prospect to participate… and the prospect takes the time to politely decline.

The response of the pushy amateur? Either to deny that the objection is true (or important) or to merely repeat the offer, this time with more volume or urgency.

“I can’t afford it.”

“Yes you can!”

“It’s too far for me to travel.”

“Vietnam isn’t that far away!”

“No, I won’t be able to.”

“But it’s really important!”

The thing is, gainsaying an objection never works. Perhaps someone will make a new decision based on new information. But the only new information you’re presenting with your pushiness is information about how selfish you are.

Alternative: “Sometimes, people feel that way. I totally understand. But when they learn . . . they make a different decision.”

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